Actress Lucille Ball, once said, “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Many believe that the ultimate goal is to be loved by someone else, but what most people forget is that you cannot let someone else fully love you without you loving yourself first.
Unhealthy relationships where there is no sign of unconditional love will always bring you down. It is better for one to simply step back, analyze the situation, and leave a relationship that is not benefitting you. Many people wonder what unconditional love is, it is being the yellow paint to someone’s day, it is the fact f wanting better for someone than they do for themselves. It is looking at the status of the relationship and realizing that this is worth it, that this brings you an enormous amount of joy. Love is supposed to allow you to feel the ecstasies of life, it is the new beginning. When you think about unconditional love, a lot of times a person will think of a mother’s love, because a mother would do anything to protect and keep her child happy.
Many times people do not receive the love they need as children or they witness their parents in a relationship that is unhealthy, and that leaves a stigma for that child. That child begins to think that, that is what love is like and believe that they will have that kind of love. : Love is not something everyone understands or gets to feel in their life time, because like stated in the film, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the ‘love’ we believe we deserve.” Once you are in an unhealthy relationship or grow up around an unhealthy relationship they become accustomed to it and do not realize that they deserve better, they become stuck in a terrible situation. Someone can believe that they are in a terrible situation or believe that they are a terrible person and believe they deserve someone who will put them in their place. Although, we accept the love we believe we deserve, we should not expect that love to come with a price, love is something that should worthwhile and priceless.
By loving yourself and treating yourself with respect you will grow into a person who knows what standards to expect. But that is such a generic thing to say. Don’t you think? How do you love yourself? Well, let me tell you, you love yourself by going out and doing what you love to do, by trying something new every day. You learn a new language, or pamper yourself. You learn about yourself, your likes and your dislikes. You value your alone time, because it is ok to be alone, it is ok to be independent. You do not need someone else’s approval or opinion because at the end of the day the only person who will get you ahead in life is yourself. Be selfish. It is ABSOLUTELY OK to be SELFISH! (sometimes) You will most importantly understand yourself and what it is you want out of a relationship. By getting to know yourself more you will be allowing yourself to also understand other and where they are coming from.
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and hated what you saw? Have you ever hated yourself because you felt as though you were not good enough? Or allowed someone to treat you like you are nothing? Have you ever told yourself that it is ok, because they love you? If you have, you have been hurt in a tremendous way and not just by others, but by yourself. They say the energy we surround ourselves with is the energy we become, and it is true, if you do not begin to love yourself and treat yourself in a better way how can you expect others to? It all begins with you. Love Yourself.